yesthisismyday

[yesthisismyday]

 

[yesthisismyday]

here is my little bay story slide show ( 20 slides). I'm working on the story n' illustration. there's more coming

http://s92.photobucket.com/albums/l1...slideshow=true

I'm looking for good writer partner to develop the story, it's possible to create a script/illustration board for the animation film.
All my designs r extremly simple ( for future development purpose)

 

[Brendon45]

I'll be happy to help

 

[yesthisismyday]

@Brendon45 :
I iwas trying to contact you, still waiting for your reply!
here is a storyboard that I'm trying to develop based on the idea of little baby dropping his diaper.
Little baby had a dream to catch the moon and to chase the stars, and he did it! But without s.o to share, it's meaningless ( and we can't rush, it just happens :roll: )
I hope from my simple illustrations, some of you will agree with me

 

[Brendon45]

Okay so you want me to develope the story for this and make illustrations for it?

 

[yesthisismyday]

yes I do

 

[Brendon45]

okay I'm working on it-I'll be able to make the new thread soon to keep you updated!

 

[yesthisismyday]

http://www.vnjournal.com/yesthisismyday/flash/little baby adventure.swf
new development, please enjoy!

thank you brendon!

 

[Brendon45]

Oh uhhh is that sarcasim or are you really saying thank you because I was working on the illustrations.

 

[Brendon45]

I am finished all artwork!!!

 

[yesthisismyday]

now I think I'm lost

 

[yesthisismyday]

guys, I'm thinking about doing some serious flash games to develop my characters

 

[Brendon45]

Yesthisismyday:
Now this story is what I made from my point of veiw from the storyboards so it may not be the way you want

I did little drawings to help me review the story so it can fit the pictures.

Here are some sketches:


Now these weren't done very well sense I didn't think Id have time. But here you go!

-Enjoy!

 

[yesthisismyday]

amazing, I found a writer partner. You are really talented. Mind if I post your works and ask people for their opinions?
I'll let you know where I post them so you can come and look. People've been waiting to see some writing and I'm tired of hearing their complains about my wordings ( dont make any sense and cause offensive ...)
and I'll never use you Brendon45. you have my words, in the future I'll share the profit with whoever contributes to the development of yesthisismyday. And also it's really fun doing this thing together

 

[yesthisismyday]

I'm glad you found someone to work with. I think Brendon did a good job too, but may I offer some suggestions? The version below reflects some slight wording changes in some cases and fairly drastic ones in others. I thought it was particularly important to reword number eight since that one really wasn't coming across right.

The Story of Little Baby

1. Little Baby was in the night sky
with his pacifier shining Bright.

2. Little Baby soars and soars,
hanging tight with all tiny fours.

3. Soaring faster than his underwear,
Little Baby found himself completely bare!

4. He hurled down his ladder
as if nothing else mattered.

5. Faster and faster he goes.
Someone will know if I don't get those!

6. Baaaaaa! a sheep said,
as he ate shred after shred.

7. He gives it back, but a little girl notices.
He was embarrassed to find himself a crazy nude hostess!

8. Then she plays without caring,
though he felt shy about how little he was wearing.

9. Next they lay down to talk,
which soon after turned into a walk.

10. Instead of walking she decided to run,
and Little Baby being nude turned into good fun!

The End
__________________
mrush
by [FONT=&quot]RUSHVision

take a look brandon dude, awesome
[/FONT]

 

[yesthisismyday]

I'm wordless, this is revolution in writing Can I post this work on yesthisismyday.com

 

[Brendon45]

yeah you can post them on there , but you don't need to share any credit with me at least not yet

 

[Oni0]

I don't know, you two really need alot of work and i'm serious .

FIrst off Brendon45 i would have done alot more with the story, not to mention that it isn't a story at all, looks more like a storyboard for a cartoon show.

Second the drawings you made.......no comment since they look the same drawings yesthisismyday did, you should have posted his drawings instead. I suggest you do tons of drawings also do something new instead of copying, even the scenes.

As for you yesthisismyday, you should really check what the person is writing, don't be satisfied and say "you're really talented, i now found a writing partner" because when you're in a real bussines and make partners with someone you really have to check what the guy has. If there's some parts you don't like you should point out so he can improve, don't keep your mouth close because believe me, you may like it but many people won't

This only a critique, not an insult. If you want to improve you have to take the good comments and the bad comments.

btw: next time when you are discussing some project you want to do. Do it in the private messages because you're just bumping the thread so people can see it.

 

[Oni0]

I'm wordless, this is revolution in writing Can I post this work on yesthisismyday.com

Are you being sarcastic? Hope so, i don't want to be rude yesthisismyday but where did you get these guys, anyway? I'll bet they didn't even look at the writing.

 

[Brendon45]

well you know what I think, that you shoud've criticized us privately. And you know what else? This is the first project that we have worked on and of course my art wasn't good I thought I made that clear..... And again please do not confront me or yesthisismyday from sharing our ideas on the thread nstead of private Via because now we're have a debate on this RIGHT IN FRONT OF EVERYBODY WHO LOOKS ON THIS THREAD!!! Not to be rude though.*_*