The Czyz-nit on The Matrix Revolutions
Warning: the following review is not a positive one. So to Matrix fans that think all three movies define life, you’re in for a rude awakening.
Neo wakes up in a train station, stuck between the real world and the matrix. And he can’t leave. Not by himself. And some ugly looking trainman tells him so. Is it any wonder that he is working for the Frenchman that makes no sense? So Trinity makes him an offer, free Neo, or everyone dies. Of course the Frenchman has to look like a total coward, and so Neo is back.
Neo goes to the new Oracle. Something about having a new shell. Whatever, but it’ll do. Apparently, the eyes are the same. Question answered with questions for five minutes, until Neo just says “Smith” out of the blue. Well, we can pretty much fast forward to the last twenty minutes, as it will no doubt be Neo vs. Smith, Round 3. But I didn’t download this one, so I get to catch up on my sleep in the theater.
But what’s this? Agent Smith breaks in after Neo goes out. And absorbs the Oracle into his being. Yep, he’s screwed now.
Back in the real world, two ships are trying to decide their next move. Neo decides that he has to go to machine city. For what, no one knows. I’m telling you, just fast forward to the last twenty minutes, just like Reloaded, and it’ll make sense. Everyone thinks he’s nuts, even though he is the One (or the Phoenix, take your pick). Ultimately, only him and Trinity go to the city on Niobi’s ship.
What follows is a 40 minute ass-kicking of Zion by the machines. Yep, that’s all that happened. Talk about filler. Reloaded told us this was going to happen when the Architect played his hand. I guess WB wanted to unload the rest of their budget for this film on special effects just for the heck of it. And people wonder why they can’t make a superhero movie…
Meanwhile, human Smith (as Bain) woke up, killed a doctor, snuck aboard Neo’s ship, and fries his eyes out. ½ star for finally justifying the R rating, and actually having a purpose in the film. But minus 1212 points for style. “Seeing the light?” At least Neo didn’t patronize us all by saying “Smith” in the real world. And I still find it cool that Smith says “Mr. Anderson,” even though it’s the only positive link to the first movie. (Other positive things, like storytelling, conservative special effects with a purpose, were thrown out with the first movie.)
The other ship, with Morpheus and Niobi, finally get back to Zion, and use the EMP to fry every machine in the city, and kill their own entire defense system. Oops. As if on cue, a bigger wave of sentinels come in to finish Zion. I’m rooting for the sentinels.
Trinity and Neo plunge deep into the machine city, and even take a brief moment to go above the clouds. Had to happen sometime, I suppose. Eventually, they take a plunge into an area. The shockwave sends about four metal rods into Trin. Trinity dies. And Neo cries like a baby. Takes away his entire purpose for being around, now, so I guess he has to die saving the world. At least Trinity and Neo didn’t have sex for three and a half minutes. I still think that’s longer than most people have in this country, though.
And for those of you who took my advice and decided to nap, this is probably where you should wake up. The conscious of the machines makes a deal with Neo: Stop Smith (who controls the entire Matrix now) from destroying everything, or the machines will destroy Zion before Smith destroys them. Hence, the “Superman” fight. They both flew, they both punch each other ridiculously far, they should some pavement, broke some glass, the usual. If WB ever runs out of money to make a Superman film, this is the sole reason. Because they already did the final fight scene, as far as I am concerned.
Anyway, Neo gets his ass handed to him, but he won’t stay down. And the Oracle inside Smith puts doubt into his head. Smith is livid. Then Neo lets Smith reprogram him, so now Smith is literally Neo. And that turns out to be Smith’s fatal flaw. Because just like the first film, it allows Neo to completely rip apart Smith from the inside out. For a self-evolving AI, Smith is really dumb.
So the war is over, and “insignificant kid” yells that to everyone. And no one believes him at first. Should have thrown some objects at him, or push him off the temple. And the sun rises on a happy ending…
…but Matrix Revolutions gets a thumbs way down from me. Definitely the weakest of all three. There was really only one shocker here (Trinity‘s death), much like Reloaded. The comparison that Agent Smith is the opposite of Neo is somewhat mundane because it pretty much tells what the last fight of the movie is going to be thirty minutes in. And the first two films pretty much honed that in. The same thing I said about Reloaded applies here, in that taking the last portion of the movie would be more than enough. The Matrix was an engaging, and thought-provoking film. These two duds were just beat-em-ups. And I expected better from the Brothers W, especially after the very good Animatrix. I have a bad feeling that the whole point of the Matrix as a trilogy was to succeed Star Wars. But I never saw Star Wars, so I don’t know. But I’m betting that there are at least two Return of the Jedi references in there somewhere. I’ll let the fan boys find them. Because they’ll enjoy this movie. I hated it.
1 star, not for the special effects, but for special effects that had no point.
Later.
I'd posted this back in 2016, over ten years ago!