Socal Problem

[The Avatar]

OK, I have this group of friends I like to hang out with. But there's one problem. There's one guy who hangs out with them all of the time. And he is always not nice to me. He always seems to antagonize me and every time I say something he either ignores me or tells me to be quiet. He always tries to make me feel bad and He always tries to tell me to leave when I'm around, so I feel uncomfortable when he is around and become kind of quiet and withdrawn. I don't want to have to give up these friends, but I don't know how to deal with this person. Could anyone help me?

 

[Temple Fugate]

OK, I have this group of friends I like to hang out with. But there's one problem. There's one guy who hangs out with them all of the time. And he is always not nice to me. He always seems to antagonize me and every time I say something he either ignores me or tells me to be quiet. He always tries to make me feel bad and He always tries to tell me to leave when I'm around, so I feel uncomfortable when he is around and become kind of quiet and withdrawn. I don't want to have to give up these friends, but I don't know how to deal with this person. Could anyone help me?

Why aren't your friends coming to your defense? I would try to catch your other friends when that guy is not around and tell them that he's making you feel very uncomfortable. If you reach out to them, it will kill two birds with one stone; you'll be opening up to the friends you want to keep, and you'll be doing something about the guy who is antagonizing you.

Your other option is to call the guy out the next time he attacks you in front of your friends. Show a little backbone and ask exactly what it is that he doesn't like about you.

Either option could work. I'd recommend the former before trying the latter.

 

[WolfieKiwi]

First of all, the guy has no right to tell you that and second, if none of your other friends are not saying anything in your defense at all then maybe you should consider looking for other people to be friends with.

Anyway, I'd suggest standing your ground. It might take a while but it's the most powerful and effective solution if you want him to stop, imo. Seeing how he always shuts you down whenever you talk I'd challenge him right back if I were you. Whenever he says something, play the devils advocate.

 

[The Avatar]

He doesn't really do it much in front of them. Or when he is in front of them it is usually subtle. So it's not so much that they don't care as that they may be unaware that it's really affecting me that much.

 

[Mynd Hed]

Why aren't your friends coming to your defense? I would try to catch your other friends when that guy is not around and tell them that he's making you feel very uncomfortable. If you reach out to them, it will kill two birds with one stone; you'll be opening up to the friends you want to keep, and you'll be doing something about the guy who is antagonizing you.

Your other option is to call the guy out the next time he attacks you in front of your friends. Show a little backbone and ask exactly what it is that he doesn't like about you.

Either option could work. I'd recommend the former before trying the latter.

All good advice, although I'd recommend against confronting him in front of your friends, at least initially. Try to catch him alone and ask him privately what his problem is instead. He may be more likely to be honest and reasonable if he doesn't feel like he has to prove himself in front of a peer group.

 

[tdifan88]

OK, I have this group of friends I like to hang out with. But there's one problem. There's one guy who hangs out with them all of the time. And he is always not nice to me. He always seems to antagonize me and every time I say something he either ignores me or tells me to be quiet. He always tries to make me feel bad and He always tries to tell me to leave when I'm around, so I feel uncomfortable when he is around and become kind of quiet and withdrawn. I don't want to have to give up these friends, but I don't know how to deal with this person. Could anyone help me?

I used to have friends like that well actually like you I had a group of good friends except for one who always talked about me so me and my bubbies booted him out of the group.

 

[RockmanDash]

I had a really good group of friends in junior high, they were a bit crazy but we were always just one big fun group. But once High school started the group slipped.. and slipped and slipped. Seriously my friends started to insult one another behind each other's back(one in particular who I just want to stay away from now on.) and I started to get so sick of it I just decide to leave. Where am I now? I hang out with a good friend of mine who is actually a bit more fun to chat with. Sure it's not that big group of friends but hey it's better then being insulted every five seconds. The group still questions why I left though and tried once bringing me back by insulting me 10X more but that did not work very well for them as you can see.

The bottom line: If friends insult you or friends don't stand up for you and don't act like friends. You can't really call them your friend now can you? As for the guy you don't like, I don't suggest actually making a fight with him, but maybe just stand up for yourself the best way you can. Trust me I been there a bunch of times and even if it fails at least you did something. Of course if this keeps going on in a few months, you might want to find a new group of friends like Wolfie girl said. And I understand you probably don't want to leave them but just think of how they are your friends first.

Really friends can be tricky, high school probably the most tricky as people start to change even more and more.