It took ages, but Tom Holland is at last back in the tights, swinging through New York in Spider-Man: Brand New Day. An obscene amount of time and a few totally embarrassing “in-universe spinoffs” by Sony later, he’s finally back…and things haven’t changed one bit.
We really mean it. All this time later, Peter Parker is still trying to find the right way to break it to his friends, who no longer know they’re his friends, that they are his friends. He’s still a C+ at best at this whole superheroing thing, smashing into cars and falling down buildings. The good news is…he may be getting Organic Webbing like his interdimensional buddy Tobey Maguire!
The bad news is it must be coming out of his butt. Parker’s got a problem; he appears to still be mutating. And if he can’t find a way to stop mutating, he’ll just become more and more like a spider. This is based on the “Man-Spider” storyline that ran in the comics and had an adaption in the 1995 TV cartoon.
Mostly, the trailer is packed with cameos. Rumors of an appearance for that Punisher character that kids can’t see unless they crack the passwords on their parents’ Disney+ subscriptions are true. Spidey manages to keep his language PG-13 by webbing his mouth shut at strategic moments. Bruce Banner, better known as the big green guy, is also there as Parker’s college science teacher. He and the Hulk seem to no longer be one.
Michael Mando is back as Scorpion for the first time since the original movie, and this time, he’s figured out how to look like a scorpion! We also see the elite team of ninjas known as the Hand, last seen in the Daredevil show. It is here I have to reflexively point out that Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles started out as a Daredevil parody and The Foot are actually a spoof of The Hand. I know you knew that. I just can’t stop myself from saying it.
The only thing we DON’T see, and this has to be on purpose, is any trace of Sadie Sink or hints of what character she’s playing. They really don’t want us to know. Maybe she’s Max Mayfield visiting from another dimension. Could be anything at this point.
Spider-Man: Brand New Day opens in theaters July 31.
