Stuff You Learned From "Home Alone"

Classic Speedy

So, uh, just... watch it.
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1. Don't count your tips in public.

Let's hear yours.
 
1. Tim Curry looks disgusting in NES games
2. You can survive bricks landing on your skull, your feet impaled by glass and nail, and your head set on fire.
3. Miami doesn't have Christmas trees.
 
Don't see ANY of the films that followed the second one.

I also learned that that 4th one takes place in a loose continuity as the first two, despite obvious contradictions that would suggest otherwise.
 
I learned never to put on shaving cream if you're an eight year or- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

 
8. Frank had sunny weather on his honeymoon.

9. Peter apparently pawned Harry's gold tooth for money.

10. Don't order room service from the Plaza Hotel unless you're loaded.

11. If you are really friendly, Mr. Duncan will give you some complimentary turtle doves.

12. You can survive a ten story fall.
 
Don't see ANY of the films that followed the second one.
Exception of course to Episode V, "Holiday Heist". Highly regarded as the Strikes Back of the series of course.
 
How to get a hotel room, of course!
 
14. Hotel staff don't have to know messy details like your credit card number; as long as you say you have a credit card, you're guaranteed a room.

15. The typical price for off-the-street jewelry is either 2 for $5, or 4 for $10.

16. Sticking a couple plastic candles behind someone's ears to make their ears light up is about the most hysterical thing ever.

17. Kevin is a trout sniffer, and this must be true, because Buzz never lies.

18. You have to pay for your pizza, sir.
 
20. Santa Claus smokes.

21. Also, his car sucks.

22. If you are eight and you go shopping alone, don't answer the clerk's prying questions unless you have your lawyer present.

23. Telling a furnace to shut up is a good way to deal with your childhood fears.

24. If you're a burglar, try just opening the door. It might be unlocked.

25. On second thought: DON'T open the door. It might be scalding hot.

26. Statues right in front of the entrance will inevitably be knocked over by cars.

27. The church is to Harry and Marv as the cross is to Dracula.
 
I lurned bout slapstick an hao funny it iz
 
Bearded people with snow shovels aren't so scary when you get to know them.

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The same principle applies to women with birds as their only companion.
 

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